1st Day of Court...

So just so you all know...I am no longer allowed on CWSL campus and you are all ordered to shoot me on sight.

I found this out the other day when I stopped by to <ahem> drop off some paperwork for the Dean. I was greeted oh so fondly by name and face by security who confiscated my CWSL I.D. Which, although I make light of it, was kind of sad, considering its the only physical memoriabilia I have of Cal Western except for a coaster.

Anyway, not being from California originally, I forget how touchy and sensitive people can be out here. Yes, yes, I'm talking shit about you, but at least I'm doing it in front of your face and not behind your back. Sort of.

Regardless, the understanding, sympathetic, heroine to all Dean Brenner was on "vacation" again, and I was forwarded to general counsel. I high tail it to his office and this man is SO FRIGGIN TALL! That's what really sticks out about him to me, he was really tall! I had scheduled a TRO (thank you, Dadhania!) for today and asked if he would be there. "I don't know", he said "it might not even be up to code..." OK, look, I know I got a C in Civ Pro, everyone knows I got a C in Civ Pro, but I think I can handle a simple fucking TRO. The second time I try, at least. LOL.

I am uber nervous, for sure, at this hearing. It's an 8:30 am hearing and I'm the only one on the docket, which is good cuz it really limits the amount of people I can potentially make a fool of myself in front of. I scheduled this ex parte so the Court has my paperwork but nothing from opposing counsel, cuz, you know, he just found out about it the day before. So the judge knows what I'm all about so he starts with defendant. (Thank God). I'm trying my best to remember exactly how it went down, but basically he says that the court shouldn't be interfereing with the academic affairs of colleges and that I'm asking for an affirmative action on my TRO. I can't remember what it's called but I'm not asking for defendant to not do something, I'm asking defendant to do something. Judge is like OK to the first one, but shoots down his second defense. Turns to me, "do you have anything to say about that?"

So I tell the judge that the Court has the right to interfere with academic decisions if found to be against academic norms, arbitrary, etc. "What case says that?" he asks. In my head I'm screaming "It's in the complaint!" But I flip through my notes, find it and tell him. "Okay, he says, so what is the irreparable damage, if you don't receive a TRO?" I begin to tell him about the loss of evidence and opposing counsel pipes in that a litigation hold was put on my account, so no loss of data there. And he asks if there's anything else. And my mind goes blank. I know there's a million other things, but it's just like on exam days, my mind just goes blank. I know as soon as we leave the courtroom I'll remember all of my other points I wanted to make, but for now, I just say "No, your Honor."

He turns to their lawyer, "And you, counsel"

"I'd like to submit to the court,...." I don't want to misquote here, but it had something to do with why I shouldn't be bringing up this lawsuit in the first place.

"Does this have anything to do with the TRO, anything that Mr. Caracter has brought up ex parte?"

"Well, no your Honor, but I think..."

"Then this is not the time or place to bring it up."

"But, your Honor, I think that it's imperative..."

"Then you can bring it up on your own ex parte hearing, counsel. I have ex parte hearings this Friday."

"But if your Honor would just..."

"I'm sorry counsel, but no. I'm not going to allow you to do that here, without giving the Plaintiff here due process to prepare for whatever it is you're trying to introduce. That's not fair to him and it's not how I do things in my courtroom. OK?"

The judge dismisses us and we leave. As we're in the hall, the attorney pulls me aside and asks if I've seen my transcript. I lie and say no, so he pulls out a copy and explains to me how my GPA is calculated. I nod and say, "I see that, but sorry, the conversion is arbitrary and unfair." He hisses at me "It doesn't matter, the school can calculate your grades anyway they'd like." "Well," I say "I disagree with you."

He continues, "I want you to know I have something, something the judge in there wouldn't let me introduce. I have a screenshot of your blog calling the Dean a cunt. I'm going to introduce that to the judge, it will be on record and you can bet that the ABA will never allow you to become an attorney with that kind of disrespect and profanity. So, you either drop this case or I will submit this to the court."

My blood froze. My heart stopped. "But, but, I recanted that, I took it off my blog."

"It doesn't matter, I still have the screen shot."

He got me. Passing the Character & Fitness was never going to be a slam dunk for me and this certainly wasn't going to help.

"Well, I need a copy of my transcript by tomorrow, I've been locked out of my accounts and can't get a copy."

"If you agree to sign a dismissal for this case by this afternoon I'll get it to you."

"Fine."

Dejected, I went home. You can't win them all, Nate.

I went home, got out of my suit, and laid in bed. I must've fallen asleep, cuz at around 1:00 I woke up to my phone ringing, it was the attorney. He said he had the paperwork ready and that CalWestern would email me a copy of my transcript in the morning if I come over and sign the dismissal. I told him I would.

obviously their attorney did not attend CalWestern.

I got up out of my bed and in my apartment I have this Evidence flowchart that's push pinned to my wall (I was taking Evidence this summer, and knowing what a difficult class it could be I had this to always look at). And as I got up, I swear it was just like in the movies my eyes focused on Test#2

This part:

And I thought, "What material fact would my blog tend to prove or disprove?" None. OMG, that isn't fucking relevant!! I was filled with emotion - I was so ecstatic and proud of myself, but at the same time really angry at the attorney, and even angrier at myself that I let some weasel bully me into doubting myself. Aaaaarrrgh! So, I hightail it to the attorney's office where he takes me into the conference room (within earshot of the hot, black front desk guy) and asks me to sign it. I "casually" ask him, "So what were you planning on saying was the relevance of what was on my blog post." He stammers, (I mean, REALLY ACTUALLY stammered!) "Oh well I was going to say that it shows a reason no for you to take a deposition, ...." He goes on for a bit talking about the costs of deposition and that calling someone a cunt is threatening behavior, etc. I never mentioned anything about taking a deposition. So I say to him:

"Uh huh. So, I find your thinly veiled attempt to blackmail me pathetic. Your client is in breach of contract and is trying to bill me $12,000. I 'm sorry that the Court shot down your

only two defenses right off the bat but if you think I'm going to roll over just because you threaten to tell on me because I said a naughty word, you have another thing coming. Why don't you try not being a slime-ball attorney and argue this case on its merits?"

I turned and walked toward the elevator with the biggest shit-eating grin on my face. I like to think that out of the corner of my eye I saw the front desk guy give me a nod of approval

As I'm waiting for the elevator, I guess something in the attorney's ego wouldn't let me have that last word, and I hear him coming up behind me and he says "I'm going to officially as that you not return to CalWestern's campus again. If you do, I'll be asking the Court for a restraining order."

I laughed at him. "THAT'S what you come back with? OK, I won't go back to the campus, buddy."

...and I left.

So- I didn't get my TRO, but I didn't let myself get bullied just because I was afraid to stand up to someone who knew more than I do about the law.

So, something I didn't mention was that the attorney said that my calling a certain someone a "C U Next Tuesday" on my blog constitutes threatening behavior, and how I can "surely see how it would be perceived as threatening to her."

I don't see it. Am I wrong? You can go back on my blog and tell me if it was threatening. Or. Is it because I am a non-white man with a shaved head calling a white woman the C word?

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/23cc21_68de5bf1871f46e5a4ba18a5dd6d724d/360p/mp4/file.mp4

I can't help thinking that if I looked like this:

or this:

maybe she wouldn't feel so threatened.

(from L-R: Thomas Matthew Crooks, attempted assassin of Donald Trump; Adam Lanza, Sandy Hook shooter)

***It has come to my attention that the pictures I posted have come to be interpreted as a form of threat. THIS IS NOT MY INTENTION. The purpose is to draw attention that a seemingly innocuous caucasian male can be a lot more threatening than a shaved head non-white male, and if I looked like one of these two, maybe I wouldn't appear so threatening. I apologize to anyone to whom I didn't make that clear.***

UPDATE: I think it just occurred to me that that lawyer attempted to blackmail me. I mean, right? The evidence he was going to submit had no relevance - he was only going to use it in order to hurt my future possible career. Jesus Christ, I hate lawyers...